a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize