Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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