There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
