just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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