and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
