I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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