Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
