ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
