Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
