I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
