Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize