I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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