I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
