As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
