Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
