It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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