I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
