Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
