I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
