apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
