i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We got so high we made milksteak
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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