can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
