Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I would ride that face into the sunset
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
