What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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