The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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