It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
