Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
