"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
