The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The power of my boobs compel you
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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