and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
