I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Im part way to drunk.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
