kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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