Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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