And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
