I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Who died my cat blue again?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
