I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
