from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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