TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just gift wrapped bread.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
NoShamevember. You game?
40s are totally the cure
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
