i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
