if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
