I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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