Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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