woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think my moral compass just broke
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
