Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
