Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
