I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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