About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
