What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
