Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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