Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize