there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
sarcasm needs its own font
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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