My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
