Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
