im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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